LEARNING to Let Go: 8 Simple Steps to a Better Life

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Welcome readers,

This past week has been a different experience for me. I am on a life adventure that I had not previously anticipated, and it has allowed me to see where I would benefit from making some changes. My current journey includes replacing undesirable time consumers with learning and personal growth, i.e., letting go.

Letting go isn’t easy. We, as humans, tend to become comfortable with the routine of our everyday lives. We fall into patterns and come to expect things to remain the same, as they were last month and the month before. Even small changes can have a significant impact on our sense of normalcy. Recently, for me, change has almost become my new normal.

“In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety.” — Abraham Maslow

The first instance happened when I had to decide whether to leave a career I'd been in for nearly 10 years! I was provided a choice: continue in my field of expertise, after only just achieving my foreman certification-a long awaited milestone, or forgo all that I had worked for and take a job that allowed me to work from home. This should have been an easy choice, right? It most certainly was not. After much prayer and conversation with my wife, the choice was made; I would get to start a new and promising career, working for my father-in-law in a business he had built from the ground up for the last 20 years! How we were able to get to this point is a whole story in and of itself that I will divulge at a later date, but let me tell you…it wasn’t easy. With that being said, it was one of the best choices I have ever made. I cannot even begin to explain the quality of life change that took place by letting go of a goal that I had been working towards for 10 years.

31,285...Keep that number in mind. The next change, though not as potentially detrimental as leaving a field of work after 10 years, still carries significant implications. It was the decision to let go of a habit... no, an addiction that burdened me for nearly as long as my previous job. This addiction consumed much of my “free time.” I lost sleep over it, made excuses to avoid going out with friends, and even sacrificed valuable time with my family - time I'm now striving to reclaim, especially now that I spend most days at home. Like many others with addictions, I let go of this one several times over nine years, only to resume it with even greater intensity. In 2023, I spent a staggering 31,285 minutes…playing a game. Quick math tells you that's roughly 521 hours in a year, or 43 hours a month - just over 10 hours a week.

For reference it takes, on average, 480 hours to reach fluency in a new language. Other things that can be accomplished in 500 hours include learning a new instrument, writing a novel, reading 60+ new books, building a basic video-game of my own.

Perhaps this timeframe seems normal, given our society's current gaming obsession. But let me remind you, I've played this game almost daily since about a year after its creation, and last year was considered a “slump” year for me in that game. I'm sharing this vulnerable information, even though it is potentially embarrassing, because I managed to let go and improve my quality of life. This addiction had its grip on me for nearly nine years! I hope this reassures you about letting go of something that isn't necessarily “bad,” but might not be great for you. These things could include mindlessly scrolling Facebook or any social media, spending hours watching YouTube, or binge-watching your favorite TV series. While these are fine in moderation, when they become a crutch or an excuse to avoid more beneficial activities, they can transform into genuine problems. Below is a list that will help when trying to drop a bad habit and replace it with a good habit.

1. Identify the Bad Habit: Recognize the specific habit you want to change. Be specific about what behavior you want to replace. 2. Understand Triggers: Determine what triggers the bad habit. Is it stress, boredom, or certain environmental cues? Understanding the triggers can help you address the root cause of the behavior. 3. Choose a Replacement Habit: Select a new, positive behavior to replace the bad habit. Ideally, choose something that fulfills the same need or serves as a healthier alternative. 4. Set Clear Goals: Establish clear and achievable goals for adopting the new habit. Define what success looks like and break down the steps needed to reach your goal. 5. Start Small: Begin by implementing the new habit in small, manageable steps. Focus on building consistency rather than trying to make drastic changes all at once. 6. Create Reminders: Use reminders or cues to prompt yourself to engage in the new habit. This could be setting alarms, leaving sticky notes, or integrating the habit into your existing routines. 7. Stay Consistent: Consistency is key to forming a new habit. Make a commitment to practice the new behavior regularly, even on days when you don't feel motivated. 8. Adjust as Needed: Be flexible and willing to adjust your approach as needed. If you encounter obstacles or setbacks, reassess your strategy and make changes accordingly.

Remember, change takes time, so be patient and persistent in your efforts. Being able to replace this habit with a more fulfilling one has really changed my life. I am choosing to fill the void with more time spent with family, and a heavier focus on personal growth through activities such as learning new languages and reading books that focus on a growth mindset. A couple of the books I have started reading this week are listed below. These books are supposed to help change thought patterns, and increase productivity in your life and business.

That wraps up this newsletter! Wishing you all a fantastic week ahead!

Chris Sellers

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Trip to New York!

I should be writing this newsletter from the Big Apple! Instead, I am sitting comfortably on my couch watching the kids bustle about from room to room. We were not able to make the trip this go around, but we are excited for future opportunities.

Reading List For This Week/Month

Think This, Not That - Dr. Josh Axe The Steal Like an... - Austin Kleon Feel-Good Productivity - Ali Abdaal

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